Sirius and Remus Encounter 'Puppy Love'
by Lillith Nocturne
Summary: I have such a fascination with shorts like this. Remus and Sirius visit yours truly, and being the evil fangirl that I am, I have to traumatize them the best way I know how: with a graphic 'Puppy Love' style fic. Enjoy!


**_AN: I didn't want to connect my little shorts because I think they stand on their own and I like them as a series, really. Anyway, the "'Snupin' thing is best explained in 'Remus Reads a Snupin' which you should also read, if you think this is funny. As with the Snape one, this is dedicated to my Sensei, who spawned this all, and all over again last night with something she had me read. Believe it or not, the two of these were born of something so sweet that the stone hearted author talking now actually cried. Thats my sensei for ya. Anyway! Review, if you would, pretty please. Cookies, abounds!_**

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"Who is this Johnny Depp and why do so many people think he should have played me in the movie?" Sirius asked in passing as he deftly navigated his way around the internet. Tisha stopped behind him and pointed to him on the screen.

"That deliciously tasty morsel there is Johnny Depp and I happen to be one of many that believe he would have done just as good a job, if not better, as Gary Oldman." She explained, pouring his tea. "By the way, could you teach Remus how to use that laptop because he refuses to try after the 'Snupin' thing." She chuckled, receiving a glare from across the table.

"Can you blame him?" Sirius asked reasonably. Tisha shrugged, passing a cup to Remus who had not yet removed his pouty glare. "Good to know I'm not the subject of such frightening fantasies." He shuddered. Tisha laughed outright and shook her head.

"Oh, yeah, Sirius Black is completely safe from slashy fangirls and fanboys." She said sarcastically, pulling the laptop away from him and heading to her favorite fan fic site. She did a quick search for the most traumatic pairing: Remus and Sirius, and brought up a particularly graphic story, reveling in her spite and evil nature as she innocently pushed the laptop back to him. It took Sirius all of three seconds to pull a face of disgust.

"Fangirls are so creepy!" he yelped, continuing his reading. "Ugh, Remus, they call it 'puppy love'." He said in horrified disgust. Tisha cackled at the two as she cradled the warm cup in her hands.

"And they call it puppy looove." She sang out loud, humming the tune innocently.

"You are twisted and diabolical." Remus grumbled, rubbing his temples.

"Remus, look at this tripe!" Sirius yelped. Remus shook his head violently.

"No, that's twisted." He chastised, glaring at Tisha. "Sirius, stop reading!"

"It's like a bloody train wreck!" he shrieked, closing the laptop. "Do you actually read this garbage?"

"It's not garbage, it's very well written fiction." Tisha justified calmly. "I happen to like the pairing."

"Why do we come here?" Sirius asked Remus desperately, rubbing his temples to match his friend. Remus shuddered and shook his head. "She's so twisted."

"I'll have you know that I'm the best kind of fan you could come across." Tisha defended herself. "Fans like myself would not maul you or cage you in the basement." She wagged her finger at them, chastising. "You be thankful." Both of them furrowed their brows in confusion.

"You are quite possibly the most twisted and disturbed person I have had the pleasure of meeting, Tisha." Remus said extending his hand. "But I'm leaving before you try to show me some disgusting story where it isn't just Sirius and I but Snape, Harry and Lucius also."

"No one is that disturbed." Sirius snorted, shaking his head. Tisha felt her lips tugging into a smirk but decided to save them that specific trauma. "Oh, Merlin's pants, she's smiling. Someone has written something like that, haven't they?" he asked in complete horrification.

"You cannot be serious." Remus asked as his shoulders slumped.

"No, but he is." Tisha laughed, pointing at Sirius and then beginning to cackle again.

"Why do we come here?!" Sirius yelled, throwing his arms up in defeat.


End file.
